She Ain't Heavy, She's My Sister

Just a favorite moment...

My daughter sprained her ankle in a basketball game. My son, her older brother, carried her out of the gym to the car, from the car to the ER. When we arrived home, he carried her into the house. At bedtime, he carried her up seventeen steps to her room. I was all choked up.

As much as they fight at times, I know they love one another. I know that he would carry her if she needed. He is 18 now, she is 16. While he might be too heavy for her to carry, she would stand up for him in any way she could. That is love.

Those we truly love are never too heavy to carry. In one way or another we can find a way to help... to the best of our ability.

I Met A Man

I met a man the other day. He and I were sat next to each other by fate, I think. For the sake of privacy, I'll call him Jim.

Jim was probably in his sixties and in a motorized wheelchair.  It was one of those big wheelchairs, with a headrest and everything. Jim had some use of his hands, but he was obviously in pretty tough shape. Of course I wondered what brought him to that place; not the place we were in together, but the place he had obviously been in for some time. Naturally curious, I wondered what might have happened to put him in that chair, but I knew I would never ask.

As our time together drew on a good conversation began to take place. We talked about football, and the weather, luck and fate. Then he opened the door... when he ended a short story with these words,

"... you know, since I had my accident."

I wasted no time in asking, "What happened to you?"

So much for never asking.

Jim opened right up told me that he had been paralyzed as a Senior in high school, while wrestling with a friend. Not organized sports kind of wrestling, just a couple of guys goofing around.

"It was just a freak accident." He said.

One minute he was fine, the next minute he was paralyzed from the neck down, for life.

My heart sunk, thinking about my own son, a senior in high school.

"What if?" I thought.

 What must his mother and father felt that day? Did they think their son's life was over?

Jim had rendered me speechless. He went on to tell me that he had great support of friends, family and teachers around him at that time. He managed to graduate with his class that year and go on to college. He graduated with a degree, I can't remember the type, and then went on to another college for another degree, this time in theology.

Jim left college and went to work as a chaplain in the mental health field, then later became a chaplain for... I think it was the military... finally he became a professor at a University and retired from there.

My head was spinning. I'm sure my jaw was dropped. I could not speak, this time because of the lump in my throat.

Sometimes my son says his life sucks. I admit I have my down days too. I know it's all relative, but really, if I've got all of my faculties, and every opportunity, what have I got to be down about? If a guy like Jim can come out of a situation such as his and make some pretty awesome lemonade out of life, can't we all?

I know God has given us all gifts. What are we doing with them? Are we doing everything we can? If not, what is keeping us from realizing our full potential? Jim and his inspirational story helped me to realize; it can be hard to find the road blocks when they are mostly in our minds.

Dear God, please help us all to jump into life with thankful hearts for everything we've been given. Help us to be strong, humble and hope filled. Help us to realize what we are here for and to do it all to the best of our ability.

That's What She Said

Yesterday I went into Lenscrafters to have my glasses straightened. Somehow in the hustle and bustle of the Holidays they were...  inadvertently "adjusted."

So with my glasses sitting crooked on my face, head tilted to the right so I could see straight,  I walked into the store. The technician took one look and said,

"Oh dear, looks like you could use some help."

"Thank you, I said. Do you think you can fix them?"

She responded without even a wink, "Sure, and by the way, you've got a screw loose."

I asked her not to tell my husband. It would only reinforce what he already believes to be true.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Julie Hoy, Mall Cop

“Oh my gosh, I thought to myself, she’s stealing!”

One night I accompanied my son to the mall. He needed a haircut. While he was old enough to take himself, I thought I would tag along, and shop around a bit.

I headed down to the closest shoe store. Not really looking for anything in particular, I landed in the ladies section. I scanned the various styles and prices, but my eyes paused at the mirror hung at the end of the aisle. I was interested to see the reflection in the mirror was not mine, but that of the woman in the aisle that ran parallel to mine. Just a little curious, I watched her for a moment.  She was probably about my age, heavy set and wearing a robins egg blue sweat-suit. I was blown away when she took a pair of running shoes off the shelf, and in an instant shoved them, box and all, into the big shopping bag on her arm.

“Oh my gosh, I thought to myself, she’s stealing!”

My heart pounding, I thought, “I have to do something.”

As I pretended to be interested in a pair of shoes close to where she was squatting, I casually said,

“You should really put those back.”

“What?” She said in denial.

“Just put those shoes back and I won’t say anything to anyone.”

“What shoes?!” She said angrily. “You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Yes, I said, I DO know what I’m talking about. I saw you take those shoes off the shelf and put them in your bag. You know it’s not right, and you should put them back right now.”

Well… as she launched into a round of expletives that would have made a sailor blush, I quickly stepped away and told the manager of the store he should go and see for himself what was going on.

Thinking the woman would be too embarrassed to stick around for anything further, I headed to the men’s section. My heart was pounding too hard to even think.

There she came, stomping at me, yelling her head off and shaking her fist. She announced that “I was crazy” and how she was going to kick my - you know what.

When she stood outside the mall entrance and continued her tirade. I knew she was really crazy. I wondered, “What had I done?”  As she headed for the main entrance of the mall I knew I had to make a plan. Mall security was quick to stand at my side. They were ready to do whatever they could to help me feel safe.

Fear took over and I worried, with the mall being only a mile from my house I knew I would never be safe. I just knew that woman would wait for me, follow me home, kill my pets and burn my house down… or something like that.

I calmed myself and decided to call my husband. Already nestled in his bed, he reluctantly brought a second car to the mall. I met him at another entrance, and drove his car home. He and our son left from the main entrance, hopefully unnoticed.

My son wanted to save me. My husband, God Bless him, wanted to sleep.

Q. Should I have confronted the woman?

A. Considering her obvious mental instability, probably not.

Q. What do I know to be true?

A. Thou shall not steal. Deuteronomy 5:19

If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is people who deny what they know to be true. We are what we are. If we cannot accept who and what we are, and love living it… we should change.

Christmas Turned Upside Down

         Our family got a glimpse of the true meaning of Christmas one year, when without warning, our Christmas was put on hold, and our traditions turned upside down.

Christmas 2002 we bought our tree from a lot not far from our house. We brought it home, fit it into the stand and dragged it in the living room. We gave it plenty of water to drink and planned to start decorating the next day. Out of the blue, we received a phone call that changed everything.

My husband’s Grandmother, Florence, was living in southern California in a mobile home retirement community on a golf course. She was hospitalized and would no longer be able to care for herself. We were surprised to learn she had sold her home and was moving back to Oregon. Adding to the urgency, the people buying her home were traveling from Minnesota to sign the paperwork. They would be arriving there in two days. There was no telling if Grandma would be released from the hospital in time -- or if she would be of sound enough mind to take care of the business at hand. 

With no one else to help, we packed up our van, our kids (seven and nine years old at the time), and right after the school Christmas program on December 7th we headed for southern California.  We left our beautiful Christmas tree naked and alone, not knowing when we would return.

As it turned out, we would not only be responsible for closing on Florence’s home, but also for packing it and moving her back to Oregon. 

I have the world’s most flexible, understanding, and gracious children. They were away from home, in an unfamiliar environment, and without many choices for activities. God’s grace was evident, but it’s not easy being a kid in a retirement community. The rules are strict. It seemed the residents were watching and just waiting for us to break one. Some of the people there made it really clear they were not comfortable with the presence of humans under the age of sixty-five being "in the neighborhood.”  There we were, faced with a seemingly impossible task, and no choice but to buckle down and get the job done.

I thought I would die, when I looked up one sunny afternoon and saw the kids dashing passed the third hole of the golf course. They were sporting Grandma’s teapot covers as hats, at least a dozen of her scarves flew behind them as they ran with the mink heads from her stole like puppets on their hands… priceless. I quickly ushered them back into the house and took a bunch of pictures.

Florence’s place was filled with a lifetime of treasures. The treasures were mixed with a bunch of stuff that just needed to go. We gave to the needy what we knew Florence would not want or miss. There was still so much to pack. 

My husband and I took turns working through the night. As I worked, my mind wandered to the Christmas tree we had left behind. I knew it was probably all dried out and dead by then, and if we ever did make it out of the hell we were in, it would simply be fodder for the yard waste container. I tried hard to see Christmas in the desert, but in the midst of our circumstances, shiny red balls stuck to a cactus just didn’t do it for me. 

I think the hardest part of our adventure was having Grandma Florence around when she returned home from the hospital. She didn’t understand what was going on. She had forgotten what she had done. The day before we left town she asked for the 14th time,

 “Who are you and what are you doing here?” 

I reminded her again she had sold her house and wanted to move back to Oregon. She turned her head in disgust and as though it was my fault said,

 “Well, no one told me that.”

It was the day before Christmas Eve when we finally set out for Oregon. Thank God for our van (which was packed to the gills).  Grandma rode shotgun. The kids took up the middle and I sat in the way back. There was a little hole just big enough for me to fit in. I didn’t mind; I had a small patch of window to look up and out of, and through it I could watch the sky. The limited nature of my surroundings gave me plenty of time to sleep, and pray that we would make it home in time for Christmas.

We drove 10 hours the first afternoon. We spent that night in a little motel in a town called Weed. Early Christmas Eve we set out once again. With 12 hours left to drive, we were hopeful we would make it home late that night. 

From my little space I made a few phone calls to my sisters and my mom. I told them it looked as though we might make it home for Christmas. I begged them in desperation to please run over to the house and pick things up a bit. Grandma Florence was coming to town, and we had left the house a complete disaster! My family, being who they are, happily jumped in to help.

At 10:30 Christmas Eve night we arrived home. I could not wait to get in the house, no matter what it was going to look like. As we walked in the door, we heard the sound of Christmas music coming from the stereo. No one was there, but there were fresh baked Christmas cookies on the dining room table and the house was spotless! I will never forget the moment when I stepped into the living room and saw the tree we had left for dead. I was overcome with emotion. There it was, decorated more beautifully than any tree I had ever seen. The presents I had gathered in the months before Christmas were wrapped and waiting. There was no holding back the tears. We had made it home in time for Christmas, and my family had taken their Christmas Eve to give us a moment we would never forget.

The gift my mom and sisters gave us that year is what Christmas is all about. Selfless giving, willingness to serve, and sacrifice are the most important Christmas traditions we can pass down through generations.

Our Christmas turned upside down, and had an upside that would bless us forever.

Grandma Florence settled back in Oregon, and a few years later moved on to Heaven. I hope when she arrived she finally realized the truth…  the move from southern California really was her idea.  

Big Kids and Pediatrics

     I'm not super big on change, but something happened today which brought to mind the inevitability of it, whether I like it or not.

     Our son is soon to be 18, our daughter just turned 16.  I had them both at the doctor's office today. They have had the same doctor since birth. Tiny babies shared the waiting room with us this afternoon. So sweet, so vulnerable, so stinkin' cute!  Our kids used to be like that, but not anymore. Oh, they're still cute... but strong and very outspoken. They drive themselves around now, and dare to call ME old.

     As we drove the 40 miles or so to the clinic I listened patiently to rap music on the radio. It was really loud and most of the lyrics were just for the sake of a rhyme, certainly not any reason. I said nothing. I was so pleased when they both admitted, before I did, that the booming bass was too much to bear. THEY turned it down. HA! One for me!

     I asked the doctor... "How much longer can we come to pediatrics?"

"I saw a twenty-three-year-old just the other day, the doctor said. I'll see them just as long as they want to see me."

     Sounds like were good through college.

     Change has been taking place since our kids were just little peanuts. There are times when the depth of that change is more obvious, and the next steps, which you cannot see or predict, are both exciting and a little uncertain. One thing is for sure... God is in charge.

Romans 8:15-17 (New International Version, ©2010)

¹⁵ The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.^[a] And by him we cry, “Abba,^[b] Father.” ¹⁶ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷ Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

     They are ours to love and care for on earth, but ultimately they belong to God.

     Sometimes it seems... our kids are growing up. Who knows, maybe I am too.

Always Amazed!

I am always amazed at what God can accomplish... even through me.

God is good. He is in charge of everything... including me... and the plan that He has for my life. I surrender all. (She said, waiting for lightning to strike.)

I wrote that the other day... then this happened...

I recorded three original Christmas songs. The songs sound great... with harmonica, bass, drums, vocal and guitar. Doing this project has confirmed that we need to get the rest of the new music recorded... sooner than later.

One leap of faith leads to another. Too cool. Thank you God. I am always amazed at your power. By the way... you are really fun to watch. I trust you.  Let's go!